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                                                                            A Ballade of Suicide 
                                                                            G.K. Chesterton 
                                                                             
                                                                            The gallows in my garden, people say, 
                                                                            Is new and neat and adequately tall; 
                                                                            I tie the noose on in a knowing way 
                                                                            As one that knots his necktie for a ball; 
                                                                            But just as all the neighbours on the wall  
                                                                            Are drawing a long breath to shout "Hurray!" 
                                                                            The strangest whim has seized me. . . After all 
                                                                            I think I will not hang myself to-day. 
                                                                             
                                                                            To-morrow is the time I get my pay 
                                                                            My uncle's sword is hanging in the hall 
                                                                            I see a little cloud all pink and grey 
                                                                            Perhaps the rector's mother will NOT call 
                                                                            I fancy that I heard from Mr. Gall 
                                                                            That mushrooms could be cooked another way 
                                                                            I never read the works of Juvenal 
                                                                            I think I will not hang myself to-day. 
                                                                             
                                                                            The world will have another washing-day; 
                                                                            The decadents decay; the pedants pall; 
                                                                            And H.G. Wells has found that children play, 
                                                                            And Bernard Shaw discovered that they squall; 
                                                                            Rationalists are growing rational 
                                                                            And through thick woods one finds a stream astray, 
                                                                            So secret that the very sky seems small 
                                                                            I think I will not hang myself to-day. 
                                                                             
                                                                             
                                                                            ENVOI 
                                                                             
                                                                            Prince, I can hear the trumpet of Germinal, 
                                                                            The tumbrils toiling up the terrible way; 
                                                                            Even to-day your royal head may fall 
                                                                            I think I will not hang myself to-day.
                                                                        
                                                                    
                                                                     
                                                                 
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